Book Length Matters…Or?

This is a question that has been on my mind a lot lately. I’m a part of several reading groups on Facebook and it’s asked so many times. I wonder, are you partial toward a certain length?

I turn that question back on myself and it’s really tough for me to answer. I find that most of the books I tend to read all have roughly the same amount of pages. Usually, I find a romance or mystery to be around 280-320 pages. Most of the science fiction or fantasy novels are considerably more than that. As someone who grew up reading mostly romance, it never occurred to me to think about the length of one. I don’t think, in anyway, it correlates with how much I like or dislike a book. I love to read Harlequin and those books are very tiny…very…very…tiny.

That being said, to answer the question, I am fond of books of all sorts of sizes. I am currently reading a book that is around 600 pages and I’m rather enjoying it. If a book is interesting enough, keeps a certain amount of tension and urgency, then I will read it no matter the size.

So, I turn the question to you, reader. Do you prefer certain book lengths? Are you someone that hates to read anything long? Do you love quick reads? Are long reads considered quick reads to you? Let’s chat.

 

Good Readdance,

Jade

Ending the Summer Semester with Yoga

Sunday is my favorite day of the week.

I have always loved Sundays. It’s not because of church, I don’t go. It’s not because I’m off work, I used to. It’s because the day calls to me. I wake up and I feel happy, even when I’m sad. The vibes of every sunrise and settling of every sunset cleanses my aura.

This semester was a little tough for me. I had a lot going on. I finished writing Phoenix (Yay!), I also finished revising Phoenix (Yay!). I’m also actively trying to find a new apartment, only 12 days left and still no luck! I had just started a new job at the beginning of the summer so I’ve been training for that. On top of everything, one of my professors was very rude. Let’s just say it wasn’t the smoothest semester.

That being said, I discovered some things about the city. I found out that they do yoga in the park every single Sunday. This same park has a farmer’s market with loads of fresh fruits, music, vendors and crafts. In all the time that I’ve lived here I had no idea about this. Farmer’s markets are my favorite. I’m a big fan of fresh produce, especially if it’s locally grown. It transformed my Sundays.

Now that I have, what I would consider, a stable office job, I don’t work on Sundays. My heart is so happy. Gone are the worries of the week. Gone are the rushes of homework. The only thing that is alive and well, on Sunday, is my soul. My soul loves yoga and all things meditation. It loves introspection and worry free analysis.

Yoga feeds my soul.

The instructor says “Set your intentions for your practice today. What are you trying to get out of your yoga session? What do you think will set your week off on the right path?” My answer, for the last 5 weeks, has been ‘peace’. I need peace. I’m a worrier. I freak out. It doesn’t have to be about something bad or something big. I worry about if I’ll finish reading a book in time. I worry if my food will be gross even though I’ve cooked a dish a million times. I worry about my guy on his way to work and I worry about him on his way home.

I just need peace. My mind is tired but always running. It’s filled with spiraling thoughts and battle scenes. Every Sunday I stumble over to yoga with mat, towel, water bottle and $5 in tow to get the peace that I need to survive.

Then I survive.

No New Book Review! Sorry!

Heya!

So, I know I haven’t posted a new book review lately but it’s because of a good reason…I’m reading a really, really, really big book. Well, it’s sort of big but mostly it’s really interesting!

If you’ve watched my instagram or Twitter you’ll know what book I’m reading! It’s nearly 600 pages long! I’m actually liking it a ton so I haven’t been able to read any other books. I usually read 4-5 at the same time but I’m sort of stuck on this one.

I am trying to write the blog posts that are in my queue and finish revising my own book, Phoenix! Gotta get all this stuff out! July is a busy month!

Jade
P.S. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still reading the book club book but that is more out of necessity for the meeting.

College Essay on Life Experience: Miscarriage, Infant Loss and Post Traumatic Grief

Hi all! So I wrote this essay for my Psychology course called Miscarriage, Infant Loss and Post Traumatic Grief for my Psychology class and I thought I would share it with you all. Uncorrected.

In 2015 I got pregnant for the first time. I was due in May 2016. I was so scared but very excited. My guy and I barely knew each other. We were both torn on how we would be parents. I’d always wanted a family of my own I just didn’t know it would happen so soon. In the beginning, I felt great. I was healthy, everything was in the right place; I didn’t have a worry in the world. We decided to stick it through and on Chase and Charlie for boy and girl names. I remember how happy we were, young and exuberant. That was until things began to go wrong. According to the doctors, it would be a waiting game. There was nothing we could do. There was nothing they could do. We had to wait and see what my body, what the baby, wanted to do. I’ve never been good with patience. I tried. I called myself strong. I called myself a warrior. I tried to get through everything with a positive outlook. It didn’t work. My optimism did me no good. Everything began to fall apart. I officially lost my baby on October 23, 2015 at 12 weeks. The pain brought Tony and I closer together. He stayed in the hospital with me, took care of me, and watched over me while I cried my heart out.

In January, 2017, I found out I was pregnant again. My due date was October 23, 2017. The same exact date I’d lost two years before. This couldn’t be a coincidence! We were overjoyed. By this time, we were deeply in love. We’d moved in together, had great jobs and could afford to take care of a child. We already had money saved and we were ready to take on this new adventure. My doctors told me that it was very common for women to lose their first pregnancy and that I really had nothing to worry about. Everything, again, looked great, healthy and in the right place. At 11 weeks, we now know, I lost my mucus plug. At 15 weeks my water broke. I rushed to the hospital and they confirmed it. Our little happy, healthy baby was without fluid. They suggested I terminate. I couldn’t believe they wanted me to get rid of my baby when I could see her there on the screen. She had a great heartbeat, was moving just as much as she should and seemed fine. They told me that if I stayed pregnant I could get an infection and that the baby would die anyway. The doctors said the infection could get so bad that they would have to do a hysterectomy. I knew that couldn’t be my only option and pressed for something else. Something that could help us, help her. The doctors said that there was one thing we could do only if we make it to 24 weeks, which she strongly said I wouldn’t. If I made it to 24 weeks I would get antibiotics and shots, then I would live at the hospital, on bed rest, for the rest of my pregnancy. That would be 4 months. She did say that my body could take the choice out of my hands. That I could delivery naturally and they wouldn’t be able to stop it but if I didn’t, she might have a chance to live.

I jumped on it. I could do it! I had an office job and so I was determined to stay as still as possible, drink as much water as possible, to replenish her fluid faster than it was leaking, and to war against infection. I made it to 19 weeks. I went into labor naturally, just like they warned. I was on my way to work when the contractions started. At first, I thought they were just false contractions and I clocked in and started working. It’s silly to think about now but I really sat at my desk and tried to rock through the pain. I’d never been through labor before! Finally an older coworker told me to rush to the hospital because I was about to have the baby. I cried my eyes out. I called my guy and told him to meet me at Winnie Palmer and left. Iris Giana was born at 3:15pm that day. It was the most beautiful, terrifying, amazingly traumatic moment I’ve ever had in my life. Seeing her there, on my chest, with her tiny feet, moving her tiny hands. I couldn’t believe that I’d actually given birth to a human and that I couldn’t keep her. She was perfect in every way and yet, she wasn’t big enough to survive on her own.

One of the most disheartening things about it all is that I couldn’t even be with her in her last moments. I almost died from blood loss, the placenta got stuck, and they had to rush me to surgery. I held her for as long as I could but the pain was just too much. They had to take her from me. Knowing that the next time I saw her she would be dead made my physical pain so much worse. I could deal with the fire in my belly, with the sharp stabbing going down my sides but I couldn’t deal with seeing them take her away and knowing I couldn’t say goodbye. I remember telling her I loved her so many times. Wanting her to know it wasn’t in vain. That she meant something to me. To us.

In the beginning, it was hard for me to see my guy being happy or experiencing life without being as sad or distraught as I was. American Pregnancystates “Generally, women are more expressive about their loss and more likely to seek support from others.” This was very true for us. He was very quiet about everything. I didn’t really see the grief from him until a few months later. “I was only a dad for 30 minutes” he randomly said to me one night. It hurt my heart and I cried for days. I couldn’t handle being a source of pain for him and knowing there was nothing I could physically do to make it better.

In 2018 I found out I was pregnant, again. Again, we were excited. This will be the time! We have a plan. My doctors have a plan. Just get to 12 weeks, they said, then we can put in a cerclage and start you on shots to protect the baby. It would finally work. It was another miracle. This definitely can’t be a coincidence, I remember saying. I was due October 23, 2018. The same exact date as the pregnancy from the year before and the loss from 2015. This is a sign from the gods. I got to 9 weeks and then the bleeding started. I rushed to the hospital. “Save my baby, please!” I remember telling them, but there was nothing they could do. She was already gone. No heartbeat. They had no reasoning, couldn’t see anything wrong with her or with me. She was just gone.

I’ve had so many experiences with grief in my life. I’m a foster kid with mom issues, twice over, and at one point I had no hope. I had no direction but I kept going. I pushed forward. I graduated high school. I got a job, sometimes two or three at a time. I took care of myself despite feeling helpless and unwanted and unloved. I beat the odds and the statistics. I did it! I thought the pain and anger and disappointment was finally over. Despite all of this ‘achieving’ I’d done, nothing, nothing could prepare me for this. I wanted to give up. I wanted to float away and not deal with the pain of my losses. The love in my soul that I feel for them every day. The tug that is telling me this will never work. Still, months after my most recent loss, I don’t know if I’m healed. I don’t know if I ever will be.

In Krosch’s study, they asked questions of women who have lost babies at varying stages of pregnancy, women who have had multiple miscarriages and also talked to women who had living children outside of their losses. “The “other children” comparisons indicated that women who did not have living children tended to experience moderately higher grief scores than those who had children after the loss.“ (Krosch) I can attest to this because I am one. For me, I believe the added fear, the added stress, is that I might not ever be able to have children. I believe that I would be distraught, after my losses, if I had children as well but the simple fact that I’ve had three very different losses and none of them give us any indication as to what is wrong or how we might be able to prevent it from happening in the future makes this a stressful situation. I don’t want to think of the possibility that I do all the tests, all the exams, spend all the money for the expensive health insurance and I will find that I can never carry. So I can definitely see how not having other children would give me a higher score on the grief scale.

Another thing that I found interesting about Krosch’s study is the factor they believed religion, or spiritual beliefs, took in growth, post traumatic grief and life after loss. “The greatest PTG was reported in appreciation of life, personal strength, and relating to others domains, and least in spiritual growth. The findings of limited spiritual growth are consistent with previous research in non-North American populations (e.g., T. Weiss & Berger, 2010), but may also be influenced by pregnancy loss-specific factors. Although some people tend toward spiritual understandings following perinatal loss, others report a marked departure (Cowchock, Lasker, Toedter, Skumanich, & Koenig, 2010). This suggests that some people’s spiritual beliefs may provide a framework for understanding the loss, while others’ beliefs may be rendered inadequate.” (Krosch) For me, I believe I was more on the side that says it made a huge impact in my recovering but not in the way it did for most of the women. The ones who ‘gained’ more faith in god or in religion may have said it impacted them greatly or that they felt closer. I, however, felt the exact opposite. There has never been a bigger divide between myself and god than there is now, after he has captured my joy and crushed it beneath his foot.
As a young child, growing up in foster care, I was impressionable in the sense that if something was strongly explained and sounded ‘amazing’ I might be keen to believe it. Christianity was that for me. My adopted parents were both pastors during my youth. They taught and they preached and they took us to church every single week. Some weeks we went to church three and four times. I was very autonomous as a kid and wanted to find my own relationship with god, not one forced on me. Once I did, I loved it. I loved the atmosphere, I loved the support, I loved the fact that I had consistent people in my life who seemed to actually care about my well-being; I also loved the drama. Of course. I grew up with a strong sense of right and wrong but also the importance of the grey area. I often playfully say, that back when I was 12, I was a Jesus freak. I wanted everyone to give their souls and live peaceful lives. That’s just to show how the dynamic role of religion played in my life as a kid and how it’s changed. I am no longer that way. After my first loss I was very angry. I was mad at everyone; my guy for not understanding, my mom for not helping me, my friends for never reaching out, my god for not delivering me from my pain. I still loved him, I still trusted him with my soul. I knew my heart was in safe hands. After my second loss I screamed at the heavens; “How could you do this to me? How could you cause me this much pain? What have I done to deserve this? Am I that evil of a human being?” (I will never forget the words my biological mother said to me after my water broke and I was terrified my little girl would die; “god will always take your babies because you are evil on the inside. Your soul is evil. I hope you lose your baby.”) After my third loss, March 2018, I screamed again but this time in resignation. I screamed inside with self-doubt, pity and resolution. That follows in line with Lin’s explanation of chronic grief. “These symptoms can be excessive anger, guilt and self-blame, or persistent depression, and they make resolution and adaptation difficult. With chronic grief, there is little or no sign of diminution of intense reaction a year or more after the loss.” (Lin)

So yes, I screamed out with a shaking fist. I screamed outin silence of my own mind. I said “I get it, god! You don’t want me to have children! What? Do you think I will be a bad mother? Have I not proved that I have so much love to give? Have I not proved that I will not take on the sins of my adopted mother and my mother’s mother and my mother’s mother beyond that?” That is the difference between those women and me. They found a deeper faith, something they could hold on to, and I wish I could say the same. For me, I had lost all trust in god. I believe in him, I don’t think that will ever stop. My foundation is just too strong. I just no longer believe that I can trust him. I can no longer trust him with my heart, my soul, my dreams and my future. As someone who always used god as the answer or someone who will help propel me into the future even thinking that feels as dark as midnight.

This topic is always hard for me but I love to share it with others. I am no longer ashamed of what I’ve been through. I am no longer scared to think other people, other women, will look down on me and think I am less of a woman. I am strong, I always will be. I want to help other women who are going through what I’ve been through to be as strong as I. That’s why I’m writing a book about miscarriage awareness, loss and grief from an angel mom’s perspective. I have complied submissions from women all around the world and I plan to use their stories, their soul specific paths to draw in those who feel alone. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced this and even those who are dealing with infertility but maybe haven’t experienced an actual loss. I just want to pour out compassion, awareness, love, understanding and, in the end, hope.
Thank you for reading my uncorrected essay!

Jade

References

Krosch, D. J., & Shakespeare-Finch, J. (2017). Grief, traumatic stress, and posttraumatic growth in women who have experienced pregnancy loss. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, And Policy, 9(4), 425-433. doi:10.1037/tra0000183

Lin, S. X., & Lasker, J. N. (1996). Patterns of grief reaction after pregnancy loss. American Journal Of Orthopsychiatry, 66(2), 262-271. doi:10.1037/h0080177

“After A Miscarriage: Surviving Emotionally.” American Pregnancy. American Pregnancy Association. 29 December 2017. Web. 2 July 2018.

Link to Miscarriage: Surviving Emotionally

Cherchez La Vie: June 2018

 

Cherchez la Vie
Look for Life

 

This June’s Cherchez La Vie went amazingly. I actually celebrated on Sunday, which is crazy that I’ve never done that before with, you know…Sunday being my favorite day of the week. I’m glad I did because I’ve never had a Cherchez turn out better than this one.

Itinerary:
I woke up early, a new occurrence for me, and I got out my notecards. It was time to take stock of the last 6 months. A moment of introspection and reflection; see what really happened, what I’ve gone through and where my head is at now. I thought of the things I accomplished from the last Cherchez, in December 2017. I thought of what goals I didn’t meet, what I didn’t even try to do and what was very easy for me to do. Then I thought of the next 6 months, what I want to do, what I think I can do and what I know is life changing.
(The important thing about goal making is being realistic. Yes, it’s important to make goals that push you but it’s also important to know there are steps to everything. Sometimes you have to slowly take each…step…at…a…time instead of expecting to jump right to the top; of weight loss, a finished book or hair growth goals.)

Then I wrote my list of ‘June 2018 Cherchez La Vie’ goals. Your list can be big or small, important things or just a simple To-Do list, anything. I choose to do both and some I roll over from the last list. I have life goals, relationship goals, randomly jotted down goals and also house goals. I have big dreams and I know that every Cherchez I need to be doing SOMETHING that gets me closer to my aspirations.

  1. Completely pack up everything for the move.
  2. Edit and Revise Phoenix.
  3. Prep pitch for PitchWars in August.
  4. Consistently go to gym (roll over)
  5. Find new apt and move
  6. Get rid of unwanted clothes, minimize
  7. Paint at least 1 canvas
  8. Get 401k set up! (Done)
  9. Set new weekly hair routine
  10. Clean apt for move
  11. Buy more book shelves!
  12. Buy a writing desk!
  13. Go to Yoga in the park for the first time (Done!)
  14. Cook steak and potatoes- fancy
  15. Meditate daily for 1 week (Initially)
  16. Write FF Anthology Piece
  17. Consistently write ASR Posts
  18. Officially set up and promote ASR Newsletter
  19. More Photos with Tony
  20. Experience more of the city
  21. Wake up earlier- more often (eek!)
  22. Make female friends- consistent friends (roll over)
  23. Read more (roll over)

After making my list of goals I ate breakfast and then got ready to leave. I attended the Yoga in the park class for the first time! So I can mark that off my list! I was so excited because I loved yoga in college. I was definitely more fit back in college; I ate healthier and worked out more. I didn’t have a car, at first, so I was always moving. Since getting a car, and moving here, I realized that I live a very sedentary life and I don’t eat nearly as healthy as I could. I’ve just recently been trying to do things that can work out my body and my mind simultaneously so this was a great start.

Yoga in park

 

After Yoga I talked about society, culture, and life as a black woman with a new friend. I’ve been looking for ways to enhance my life and having a female friend is definitely a way to do so. I love my guy and all but having someone to chat with, laugh with, hell…giggle with, is very important. I have been missing that since I moved here and I knew creating a book club is one of the best ways to do that.

Once we parted ways I took my time walking through downtown and taking in the weather. I stopped at the library to pick up more books. Even though I read a ton, I could always read MORE and so that’s on the list, of course. So…I sat in the park downtown and read for hours. It was amazing.

Then I got rained on.

So I ran to get food, bagged up my books and walked back to the car. Having curly hair is a great thing in this case. My books were tightly protected so I could really take my time, breathing in the rain, the scent of moisture and peace.

After I got home I relaxed with my guy, read, wrote and reflected over how the day had passed. I couldn’t help the sense of true peace that seemed to heal all my worry and strife for the day. I could truly sit and not feel like I should be up working more, fighting more, getting more strength, breathing more…I could just stop.

And that is what this holiday does for me. That is what Cherchez La Vie can do for you. It’s looking for life, searching for life, searching for THE life. Creating this holiday in high school was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my entire life.

So participate! Go head, it’s not too late to make your list of goals for the next 6 months. The next Cherchez is December 30, 2018. You can change your life in that time. I’ve done it! Just think, on my goal list for December 2017 I wrote “Start school to finish bachelors degree” and now I’m finishing my second semester. I also had “Write and pitch a book” on that list and I’m actually pitching Phoenix next month! Trust me…it works!

 

Cherchez la Vie
Look for Life

Happy Readdance,

Jade

So…Many…Books!

Heya,

We are moving out of our apartment in August. The crazy thing is that, yes, I’ve started packing already. I am so glad that I am because I already have five duffle bags and four big boxes filled with books and I haven’t even touched the other rooms.

We have so much stuff in comparison to when we first moved in two years ago. I’ve bought three bookshelves and I plan to get a few more as well as smaller bedside tables to put my tiny lamps on. I love to read in bed and this is definitely going to be a happy moment for me.

Another thing is that I have no doubt I will be buying more books between now and our move out day. I am keeping a box empty just in case I do…which I will. So, full circle. We are actually going to get a moving company because there is no way I will be able to carry any of these boxes. My guy is considerably stronger than I am but even he won’t be able to lift them. Hopefully the movers come with a dolly.

In our new apartment, I’m hoping to set up our TV and library room just how I like it and keep it that way. I don’t currently have a writing desk but I will be buying one to fit in a tiny alcove that the new apartment has tucked between the living room and the bedroom wall. It’s right next to our porch so I could swivel and watch the horizon as I write.  There’s also enough space for one or two of my tiny bookshelves to fit. It’ll be so awesome!

Anyway! Do you guys have separate rooms or spaces for your books? Give me some ideas! How do you work your love for books into your home?

Good Readdance,

Jade

A Scholar Review Newsletter!

Heya!

I’m very excited about this.

Yes, you’re right, excited is my favorite word on this blog. I’ve probably used it in every post but it’s true! I mean, don’t you want someone who is passionate about their writing and about books?
Anyway, I currently have a Thoughts category but I will be removing it soon. I’ve created a monthly newsletter in which I will be writing this content and more. It’s going to be great. Sign up so you get a look at what’s going on with me, the blog and what’s new in the writing world! Well…my writing world.

I have plenty of things that I want to share with you. Signing up for the newsletter gives you a chance to hear words from me personally and get a leg up on all the non-followers! I have it scheduled to come out at the end of the month so sign up before then to be involved! For those that do, you will receive a shout out on my blog and social media as the first Jadenites! That’s entirely too cheesy, I won’t be using that. I promise.

This is the first newsletter so weigh in, tell me what you think, and what you’d like to see more on the page. In the newsletters following I’ll be answering any questions in a Q&A. So if you’d like to know more about me or my process don’t forget to leave them below.

Follow the journey and come along for the ride!

Good Readdance,
Jade

6 Steps to Love Reading

You may think that this is a silly title or even a silly topic but it’s important!

I think that a lot of people just don’t ‘get’ it. They can’t figure out what is so appealing about curling in bed with a good book. That doesn’t mean they don’t want to read, they just probably never enjoyed it on their own sooo…they don’t. Well, I can help!  Hopefully. I want to give you a few tips of my own that have really helped me and others glean the most they can from reading.

1. Find a Genre You Like!

You might think this is a no-brainer but it’s not. With so many people telling others what you ‘should’ read or what is ‘posh’ to read, it can be daunting for someone who is just starting to pick up books for pleasure. Think of movies or TV shows that make you happy. Do you enjoy ones that are scifi? Like Fringe or Doctor Who? Are you a psychological thriller kind of person? Dexter, Mr. Robot, Black Mirror? Are you a fan of the cutesy shows or romance filled hour long love fest? Hart of Dixie, 90210, Bones, Gossip Girl, etc? Looking at what you like to watch can definitely help you figure out what you like to read. Then research or go to that section in your local library or bookstore and pick something up! Read the flap!
2. Don’t Finish If You Hate It!

I know, I know. Tons of people think that not finishing a book is so taboo but I don’t! I currently have 250 books in my TBR (to be read) pile and that’s just physical books that I own. Not E-Books. Not library books. Not books in the queue. I don’t have time for that. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I do try to give a book a few chapters before I throw it against the wall but I definitely won’t torture myself further if I can barely get past a paragraph without dying inside. That being said, if a book is suggested to me (via a book club, blog request, etc) I will definitely stick with it longer than normal. I want to give everything a fair deal. But I’m an aficionado at this, don’t try this at home kids! It can be discouraging if you find yourself unable to get into a book or if it takes months to get through it.

3. Buy Books!

Now, I’m not sponsored, as much as I would love to be, but amazon and half priced bookstores are your best friend. I say actually buy your books because you are more likely to read them, in my opinion, than if you grabbed it from the library or borrowed from a friend. As a borrower, you are under pressure to finish quickly (heehee) and return it in mint condition. I always try to take the best care of my books but if I carry a book everywhere, because it is so good, and end up accidentally dropping it in the dirt, that’s only on me. No fines accrued. And I’d still read it.

4. Start Small!

Don’t think that you have to burst out of the gate with a 1100 page monstrosity of Stephen King’s or a hard read with emphasis on philosophical imagery, blah, blah, blah. Start with something short, something innocent. Start with a light hearted novel. I’d say even start with a YA, anything to ease yourself in. If you are a ‘take the leap’ type then go ahead and ignore everything in this section. Go forth, you over achiever you, Mary Higgins Clark awaits you.
5. Discover You Neeeeds!

Why did you decide to start reading more? Are you trying to better yourself? Are you wanting to see what all this book hubbub is all about? Are you trying to teach yourself about a specific subject? I think this is important because at least now you know what types of books you are looking for and won’t stress yourself out. Meaning, if you are wanting to read about demons and warriors and bloody battles, picking up a book on the children in the attic won’t appeal to you.

6. Change It Up! 

This is sort of a continuance and contradiction to number 5 and number 1! So this one is just for fun. As a kid, I was obsessed with romance and love and rainbows and historical and and and… It wasn’t until I graduated high school that I began to really broaden my horizons. By dipping into other genres or randomly buying books without vetting them, I then discovered how much I love mystery, psychological thrillers, witty banter, spy novels and even some non-fiction (woa what?).

So, if you are looking to get into the world of nerdiness I hope that I’ve helped you take the next step. Below I will share with you some authors, and their genres, that I really enjoy!

 

 

Julie Garwood- Romance and Mystery romance

Lynsay Sands- Paranormal Romance, historical romance, romance romance!
Tina Wainscott- mystery romance

Nora Roberts- Formula Romance
James Patterson- Psychological, mystery, procedural, etc. (He also writes YA)
Mary Higgins Clark- Mystery! Crime!

Nora Roberts, John Grisham, Ray Bradbury, George Orwell, Cindy Gerard, Gena Showalter, Iris Johansen!

 

Happy Readdance,

Jade

P.S. If you have any other tips you’d like to share with other readers, let me know in the comments! Did any of these help you? What are you going to read next?

What I REALLY Learned About Myself Last Semester

So…big surprise. Not really, you guys know I’m in school and I’m learning new things. I’ve always loved school. The only drawback to being in school, I thought as a kid, was that other people would be there. Sounds silly. I know. I was so shy and reserved that I never realized that it was other people that made it enjoyable. I loved to learn, loved to interact with my teachers and I loved to be in the school setting. I didn’t realize that it was the back and forth, the give and take, of the student to teacher relationship that drew me in. The constant feedback, the discussion over lecture. I just loved it.
(I’m in the year book as the teacher’s pet, by the way)

Anyway, I wasn’t one of those people who had a hurtful or sad school experience and I’m grateful. School was actually my escape. Being a foster kid, turned adopted kid living in a foster home, was pretty hard on me. I shoveled it inside and didn’t dare let anyone see my pain or what I felt on the inside. Leaving the house, and going to school, took me away from anything bad that could happen. At school, I could expand my mind, learn new things and be a different person. I wasn’t a victim at school. It was a safe haven. If only I could just learn more, I’d be free, I thought.
As I grew older, it became very apparent that I needed to bring that kind of positivity back into my life. Now, my current home life is amazing. Despite any sadness that I’ve have due to my losses, I am very happy. It wasn’t that I needed an escape. I’m in love with my soulmate and I live eighteen hours away from anything that has ever hurt me. In the grand scheme of things, I’m doing fucking fantastic! It was that I needed more. More for me. More from me. More expansion. I needed to prove to myself, not to anyone else, that I could achieve anything I set my mind to.

This last semester solidified who I am as a person…to me. It told me that when I want something, I go after it. It told me that when something is hard, like that third math exam that really kicked my ass, I flip things around. It taught me that I do have the ability to meet deadlines. It said ‘You are attentive. You are responsible. You can do this.’ Most people may think ‘Aww, you’re just now learning that?’ and to that I say YES!

I spent too much time as a kid listening to other people.  Older people. People who knew things. Whether it was my bio mom saying she didn’t want me and wished she didn’t have me. Or a sibling concocting a cockamamy story that I was so worthless that I’d actually been left in a dumpster before social services found me. Whether it was my first grade gym teacher saying that I was so angry, he wouldn’t be surprised if I became a serial killer or that one lady who said I could never be a model because I wouldn’t grow up pretty enough. Or even those who gave the statistics about kids in foster homes or the life expectancy of those coming out of ‘the system’. I spent entirely too much time thinking about how people saw me and I retreated further into my bubble.

I retreated so far into books and fiction that for a moment I forgot what was real. People asked, when I grew up, why I didn’t feel compelled or peer pressured by the stories I read. Asked why romance and passion didn’t turn me into a fairy tale loving, wide eyed, girl with too many wedding aspirations. I just didn’t believe in me or anyone wanting to be involved with me enough to think those things would ever be real. In a way, it shielded me from a life time of disappointment. Now that I know differently, I go unbiasedly into relationships, friendships and yes, heartache still.

Now, as an old soul in a twenty-five year old body (albeit creaking knees and popping elbows), I still had things to learn and discover about myself. I was terrified to start school again. I know what kind of person I was during University back at 18. I was free. I knew exactly what, and who, I wanted to be and yet I knew nothing at all. There are a ton of mistakes I made back then. I don’t regret them, because they brought me here, but I do acknowledge them. I was scared that who I was then is actually who I would be now, in school.

But I’m not.

I’m a ‘stay up late until I get the assignment done’ kind of girl. I’m a ‘create a homework planner so I always know what’s due’ kind of girl. I’m a ‘help other students with their homework and assignments because I know the material’ kind of girl. I’m a ‘stick it through even though I might fail’ kind of girl.

That is what I REALLY learned about me last semester.

I know who I am.
Do you?

Stay Safe,
Jade

World Book Day!!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I always felt like we needed a day to celebrate books! This should become a holiday! (Shhh…don’t tell Fahrenheit 451!) So Amazon is doing a deal for free kindle books and I just got them all. Below is the list of books that I got!

What are you reading lately? What’s on your wish list? Mystery, Romance, Psychological Thriller…what!?!! Tell me all about it!
Don’t forget to read today!

Go forth and celebrate books! Read more books! Think about books! Dream about books!

Books I got from Amazon written from authors all around the world:
Ten Women by Marcela Serrano

The Light of the Fireflies by Paula Pen

The Question of Red by Laksmi Pamuntjak

The Gray House by Mariam Petrosyan

Last Train to Istanbul: A Novel by Ayse Kulin

The Great Passage by Shion Miura

Still Waters (Sandhamm Murders Book 1) by Viveca Sten

The House by the River by Lena Manta

A River in Darkeness: One Man’s Escape from North Korea by Masaji Ishikawa

Good Readance,
Jade